I was browsing the internet today, came across a relationships forum where a lonely and miserable young woman had posted a thread. Her husband has gradually isolated her from the world. She has no telephone, no contact with her friends and family, has been moved to a new neighborhood. She could wander the streets with her dog, but he is now telling her to wait for him to come home to walk the dog together, so even that freedom is being curtailed.
The thing was, he's away to work a lot. She has little access to money, true, but he isn't physically interring her: she is a prisoner of her own mind. To you or me it would be the easiest thing in the world to take a rucksack and the dog and leave. To her, it is the hardest.*
It got me thinking about how we become imprisoned by the expectations of others , by patterns of thinking, by ourselves. I started to wonder, what doors are there in my mind? I'm overweight, unfit, not the person I want to be in many ways. But how far are these things I am dissatisfied with in my own life, the ways I behave but don't like, how far could I open that door and just walk out? No-one forces me to eat badly, to move less than I should.
Could I lose weight, get fitter, improve my photography, just by choosing to, simply by opening a mental door? It's a powerful thought.
*internet forums can be poisonous things, notoriously agressive and spiteful places. But this lady has had nothing but encouragement, an offer of a place to stay, lists of women's shelters near her. Restores your faith in humanity a bit.
Brilliant post. Plenty of food for thought. I'm glad the woman on the forum is getting virtual support.
ReplyDeleteAwww hon so sorry you're feeling a bit pants. Yes I definitely think our own thinking can hold us back. We live out the same narratives again and again because we think they are the only ones we have. Believe me I know.
ReplyDeleteI've been using Thinking Slimmer (24.99 so not too pricey). I've not lost a ton of weight, but I'm exercising and eating better so it's moving gradually. I've tried everything to sort out my crappy issues with food, weight etc, but this is the best so far and I actually feel like I'm making permanent changes.
Quite a few other bloggers have used it too and had good results. I don't even consider myself a chocolate addict anymore and that's huge. Miss M even drew a picture of me with the words "My Mummy is funny, and lovely and chocolate", that's how bad I was.
Send me an email if you want to chat. I've found it very positive, calming and hopeful and it's weird but good seeing these changes happening bit by bit.
It's just 10 mins a night listening to your ipod before you go to sleep. (And I promise I don't work for them.)
As for how lovely you are, well you know me, and MAAAAAAAANY others thing you are gorgeous young lady, but I know it's about how you feel about yourself. Anyone making you feel bad should have their bottoms kicked. And that includes you, because you are a rock star.
Hmmmmm, rambling now. Big hugs and yes, must catch up soon. xxxx